TTOB bonus 04, The Tao of Badass
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]Never Get
Cheated On
Never Get
Cheated On
A lot of people ask me if being a relationship coach means that I
have perfect, problem-free relationships at all times. Do you want to
know the answer?
Yes. I do always have perfect relationships now, because I use
everything I’ve learned (that I’m teaching you in this book) to have
control over all of my relationships. I have power over myself and
over the women I date because I have an understanding of how to
create the outcome that best its the both of us.
The negative side to this is that I don’t feel the emotions that my
girlfriends, and someday my wife, get to feel. Instead, it’s my duty to
make sure that our relationship doesn’t get into trouble while she’s
feeling. I don’t have to actively try to feel anything because she will
elicit feelings from me. She will help me to feel for her. That’s her
job – to balance and compliment my logic with her emotions.
Another question I’m often asked is “If you have perfect
relationships, do you think you’ll never be cheated on again?” Again,
the answer is yes. I don’t think I’ll ever be cheated on again because I
have a system that prevents it.
2
never Get Cheated on
Cheating only happens when someone feels that their partner in a
relationship isn’t supplying something they need. The problem is
that instead of simply asking for it, they seek it out in someone else
because they are afraid to bring it up with their partner. Using a
system of “don’ts” and “why’s” you can keep this from happening to
you. The rest of this chapter will reveal to you all the secrets to the
system that will prevent anyone from cheating on you, ever again.
notes
The chief thing you have to understand is that relationships are not
static. They are changing, growing, and improving all the time. If
you don’t improve with them, you will be surpassed and outgrown. A
successful relationship follows six rules that we will go over in detail
later in this chapter, the irst of which, called reinforcement, is the
idea that both partners must improve each other in a relationship. If
you’re getting into a relationship to feel comfortable, you’re entering
it with the intention to not grow and not change. A relationship
cannot be based on comfort – it must be based on improvement to
be healthy.
As long as you are together, she must help you to grow and you must
help her to grow, even if that means acknowledging that her growth
cannot continue with you. I know there is nothing worse than feeling
unwanted, but if you can grasp the three major concepts I’m about
to explain to you, you can abolish that feeling for good. I want you
to remember, irst, that you have control over your worth. You are
in control of your value and conidence. Get as much information
on this subject as you can; we discussed the topic earlier in this book,
and you can ind more about it in the members’ area as well.
The next thing you have to accept is that if you get cheated on, it’s
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never Get Cheated on
your
fault not
her
fault. A woman cheats because she’s not getting
something from you that she needs, and you lack the awareness to
igure out what it is. You are also too hurt and egomaniacal to let
down your shields in order to tell her that you want her to explain
her needs to you. If you ind yourself in this situation, you probably
arrived in it because you entered the relationship with the wrong
intentions. Maybe you wanted a girlfriend as a status symbol, or
perhaps you just wanted to prove to yourself that you could attract
a beautiful woman – whatever the reason was, it deinitely
wasn’t
growth.
notes
The inal thing I want you to remember is that you are responsible
for the success or failure of your relationships. No one else. As a
man playing the male gender role, you cannot afford to take a passive
stance on relationships.
You only need to do one thing to keep these three ideas in mind and
make sure that you’re never cheated on again: be the best option.
That direction brings up one obvious question: “How the hell do I do
that?!” Clearly, if you are the best option a woman would be crazy to
cheat on you, but to be the best option you have to understand what
women are actually interested in. What makes you a woman’s best
option?
There are plenty of ways to achieve this, if you make the effort to
implement them in your relationship and not simply keep them
stored away somewhere in your mind. You might be surprised
to hear that it’s actually quite easy to be the best option as long as
your entire life revolves around it. Your life has to be dedicated to
improving what I consider to be the Three Pillars of Badass. They
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never Get Cheated on
are: A) business, because it says a great deal about your ability to be a
provider, B) things like itness, martial arts, survival skills, the abilities
of a handyman, and anything else that involves you demonstrating
the ability to protect those around you and will help you to defeat
your insecurities, and C) relationship psychology, or the ability to
attract people into your life.
notes
So how do you improve in each of these areas? The best way that
I found to improve in business is to ind mentors who are experts
at what they do. When you ind a mentor, you’ll be very tempted
to adopt both their positive and their negative qualities, so resist the
urge to take on any bad habits. To help with this, write down all of
the positive qualities that you respect about your new mentor so that
you have a clear idea of what you want to gain from the mentoring
experience. At the end of the day, you should be an amalgamation of
all the positive qualities of all your heroes.
There’s nothing you can do to improve on everything in the second
pillar except practice. Get down and dirty. I like to have a plan that
I know will help me reach my goals, so if your goal is to improve
your strength, construct a detailed work out plan that you know will
help you to do so, ind a teacher who’s knowledgeable about the
subject, and learn as much as you can about the topic so that you
have a better understanding of it. That goes for everything else
we mentioned in the second pillar as well (martial arts, survival and
handyman skills, etc).
You’re working on improving the relationship psychology pillar right
now, by reading this book. Half of the battle is studying, like this,
and the other half is applying everything you learn. When I irst
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